7 February 2012, 1:56 pm
The crisp mountain air nipped at his cheeks, hawk stood on his branch, watching carefully as his targets galloped by, unconscious to the fact the end was neigh for them. Hawk’s eyes were hidden from the moon-light but his smirk was fully illuminated by the moon. His hood flapped wildly in the air and Hawk withdrew his daggers from his leather belt and straightened his posture majestically, he scraped his blades together, sharpening the steel; producing sparks that danced away with the breeze. Luckily the targets and his guards didn’t notice. His target was the Duke - guarded heavily by the king’s escort team. Hawk’s mission had to succeed, after all, if there was one thing in the whole of Italy, that the inner circle desired most, was the duke’s head displayed in their galleries. Hawk picked out the duke amongst the guards, his pale face emotionless, and cheek bones razor sharp, sharp enough to cut through steel. His velvet jacket made him stand out to the rest of the group, he must be one of the richest men known to italy, hawk thought, but unfortunately, his riches don’t stop a blade getting drove through his heart. The guards to the dukes’ left and right where scanning the tree tops intensely, constantly reminding their men to kill anything that moves. Despite this, the duke was staring at the omnibus glow amongst the star-scattered horizon- the kings castle party; seeming over-eager to arrive, knowing that anything could happen at any moment, after all, he knew for a fact, that the Inner Circle wanted his head, and one of their assassins could be deployed to take him down. He was definitely right. could you answer like this? 1) out of 10? 2) what age group is it for, and how old do you think i am? 3) how could i improve it? 4) do i have publishing potential 5) how well do you think it is paced? thanks, (don't copy my story, because i own copy rights to it) hope you enjoy :) :) :)... Read More »
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